‘SADDEST AZN ALIVE’ aka ‘THE HIPSTER GRIFTER’ aka ‘KARI FERRELL’

This is an entry about an IRL story.

Abridged definition: Kari Ferrell has ‘unmeaningful’ sex w/ lots of dudes to scam them of their money. altDefinitions: ‘universal golddigger’ ‘currently wanted IRL’ ‘azn persuazn’ ‘Barry Obama’s stimulus package 4 altbros’

via ‘Carles’

“It’s likely that when Kari Ferrell walked into the Vice magazine offices in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, last month to interview for an administrative assistant job, they thought they’d hit the jackpot. Ms. Ferrell—petite, 22 years old, of Korean heritage—had a huge tattoo of a phoenix across her chest and a cute pixie haircut. She was talkative, funny, charming, adorable. She had a tattoo on her back that read “I Love Beards.” She told them she’d been working for the New York office of the concert promotion company GoldenVoice, which puts on huge rock festivals like Coachella near Palm Springs, Calif., and that she’d moved to New York from Utah just a few months earlier. They hired her on the spot.”

– Source: The New York Observer

Click here for the full story on ‘The New York Observer’

Kari Ferrell’s Salt Lake City Police Department wanted poster.

“NOW I AIN’T SAYIN’ SHE’S A GOLD DIGGA

BUT SHE AIN’T MESSIN’ WITH NO BROKE VINEGARZ”

– Kanye West on ‘Hipster Grifter’

She lied a lot
Pretended she had cancer and was gonna die
Just so people would ‘feel sad for her’
Stole money, credit cards, checks, and cell phones from bros who ‘got to put their penis inside of her vagina’

– Carles from Hipster Runoff on ‘Hipster Grifter’

via ‘Carles’

It was also around November that a guy named Troy was at Union Pool, the Williamsburg bar, when the bartender passed him a note from another customer. It read, “I want to give you a hand job with my mouth,” and was signed “Korean Abdul-Jabbar.”

– Source: The New York Observer

via A.L. Feri

The (allegedly) original note

The Salt Lake City Police Department now has an extradition order for Ms. Ferrell. Anyone with information on her whereabouts can call Mr. Ross at 801-799-3366.) Sergeant Ross also drew my attention to his department’s use of YouTube in pursuit of Ms. Ferrell:

“BE CAREFUL YALL. srsly. so many ppl out there with bad intentions. just hang out on the internet all day 2 keep urself safe. do no give out ur credit card info unless u r buying a kewl t-shirt or shoes or something.”

– PSA approved by Carles

@ the end of the day

“Do u ‘feel sad’ for the AZN? or does she sound ‘too good to be true’?
Do u think she is ‘hot’? Do u think she is ‘a disgusting person’?
Do u think she will forever change the AZN stereotype?
Do u think she is going to ‘go to jail’?”

– Discussion questions provided by HRO’s ‘Edumacation4bros Who Can Read Good‘

Links:
Flickr Set
Fake Twitter One & Two
on Vice’s Blog
on ANIMAL